Family - Part 2 - Siblings

Family - Part 2

Siblings

I have 2 brothers, Ryan and Tyler, and one sister-in-law, Katherine, who is married to Ryan. As children, we fought just as any other siblings would. But as teenagers and then as adults, we are close friends. I have grown to lean on my brothers for support and they lean on me as well. We are a tight knit bunch even though we are spread across the US. The time in the hospital with Dad and the stress of the funeral would have been too much if we had not been so close. I am so fortunate to have such amazing siblings. The five of us (us siblings and Mom) clutched onto on another through that horrible week. I know that we wouldn't have made it without each other. I am so grateful and thankful daily for my amazing family.

Ryan

In 1986, Ryan Sterling came into my life. Now, I was a perfectly happy 4 year old only child at the time. I had no idea how much this little brother was going to mold and change my life over the years. As children and pre-teens, we fought...its only natural. But as I became an adult, and he left his pre-teen awfulness, we began to become really close. United in our love of music, movies, games and family, we really became friends as well as family. Eventually, we even ended up as roommates before I moved to California. We would cook dinner together, play video games or watch movies or play board games, and have popcorn tastings most nights. It was a great roommate situation...one that I wish I hadn't ended by moving to California. But, it was meant to be as he married his college sweetheart, Katherine, the week after their graduation from Boise State.

Ryan has always been a huge advocate for higher knowledge and was the one who most encouraged me to pursue culinary school. He helped me research schools in the area, and even has given me several loans to help me get through school. I am lucky that he is in such a great place in his life that he can assist me and that he does it without any reservations.

When my Mom called with news of my Dad and I was panicking trying to figure out what to do, I turned to Ryan for help. He immediately said he would get me on a flight home since I was the closest and could get there first. (He and Katherine are living in West Palm Beach, FL and Tyler is living in Fort Collins, CO.) I am so thankful for his complete and unquestionable willingness to help out family in an instant. He never hesitates to jump in and help in any way. He was (and still is) so knowledgeable and good at figuring out the financial aspects and the ways to proceed with everything that no one really thinks about in conjunction with a death in the family. He and Tyler jumped right into action starting arrangements and helping to ease the burden on Mom.

I know that in the months following the funeral, he has been extremely helpful to Mom in figuring out the logistics of the household and helping her to sort through all of the papers and computer files and bills...you name it, Ryan has jumped right in and taken care of it. It is impressive to see how he and Tyler have stepped up into the sort of "man of the house" roll. I am so in awe of how much he and Tyler both have matured.

Ryan Tyler and me playing for Dad's funeral.
I don't get stage fright, but this was the most difficult
time I have ever had playing.

Tyler

Tyler 'Rotten' Andrew was born in 1988. The 2 years between him an Ryan seemed to solidify their bond against me as children...plus the fact that I was the only girl and older than them. They would gang up on me! But I think their bond was a great thing for them to have. It made them stick together in music, sports and in school. I didn't have siblings in high school with me, so I didn't get to experience that feeling of having someone to look out for me. Tyler and Ryan had two years of high school together, so they had each other to look out for no matter what. They were both so talented in music and sports, it seemed (seems) like everything came so easily to them both. Tyler can pick up any instrument and play it within minutes, mastering it in no time at all. It used to frustrate me so much that I have played the bass for 17 years, but Tyler picked one of Dad's basses up one day and was doing the slap bass technique in just a few hours! I am in awe of how quickly that kid can learn!

Tyler has also always been great at whatever sport he picks up and tries to learn. He could jump the wall at the bench in ice hockey at a full sprint on ice skates, balance himself straight out like a flag holding onto a post, climb any structure, leap tall buildings in a single bound. You name it! The leaping buildings thing is possible, I believe..he has been learning parkour, and I have seen him scale the side of a building.

I always saw Tyler as so much younger than me, even though he is 25 now. In the last couple years, it seems like I have been watching him grow into the man that he is meant to be...finishing college, going into the ministry and preaching. The first time I heard him preach, I was tearing up in the audience with pride. I knew that he was changing and growing up, but I wasn't prepared for just how much he has grown. From the moment that he arrived at the hospital to be with Dad, I saw him in a new light. He wasn't just the kid that I had nicknamed Tyler Rotten, he was aging and maturing before my eyes. Every action he took was to shield our Mom and comfort her, to be a rock for her. He rarely left her side, choosing to sleep on the floor of the ICU. I know that he wanted to be near Dad as well, but you could see that he was protecting her the best he could.

Tyler provided such wisdom and comfort to Mom and to me as well. Praying and reciting verses of comfort from the Bible. Keeping relatives at bay that were being too intrusive. I am still in awe of how he stepped so easily into a leadership role in our family...the youngest! He solemnly held us together and banded with Ryan to get the arrangements going. He and Ryan were even able to get up and talk about Dad at the funeral. There was no way that I would have been able to do that. I barely made it through the three songs that the three of us played for him. I am just constantly impressed with how amazing my brothers are, I know that I haven't even skimmed the surface with this post.

Katherine

Katherine came into our lives when she and Ryan met in their freshman year at Boise State. I remember liking her immediately. She is sweet and caring, but super sassy and sarcastic. She fits right in with our family that way. She actually met our Dad first...she was going to a show at the Venue, and my brothers' band Remote Confederation (R*C) was playing. My Dad always was the roadie and sound guy for their band, and he ran into Katherine outside while he was setting up for the show. He invited her to come in and listen to his sons play. I know that Dad was looking out for his sons...he somehow knew that she would be a hit with one of them. It turns out, Ryan and Kath lived in the same dorm...even the same floor! Well, they did hit it off, and the rest is history. 

Katherine has become such an integral part of our family, that I don't like to call her my sister-in-law. It's too cold and distant to me. She is my sister. My friend. She is always there for support and words of encouragement. I know that it is hard on her and Ryan to live so far away from the rest of our family and her family, most of which are in the Idaho area. I am thankful that she and Ryan are so close...it would make being so far from family very difficult if they weren't. I hate that there is so much distance geographically between us all, and hope that we can close it soon.

She was such a comfort during those days in the hospital with our Dad and during the following funeral week. She took charge of so many things that were overwhelming to us...like the funeral program and video tribute. She did an amazing job on both, and it eased a burden greatly. She even sent out the majority of the thank you cards...a necessary, but often tedious task. I cannot thank her enough for being there and helping so much. I leaned on her and I know that it really helped Mom as well. She has become one of their daughters, and I know that Dad's death hit her just as hard as it did the rest of us. I can't imagine our lives without her. She is a beautiful and amazing addition to our family.